March 24th, 2018
I'm going to lie to you.
Not on purpose, I'm sure, and not right now, but eventually.
I went on a few dates with this guy last semester who liked talking about heavy subjects. Like politics and the future of overpopulation and the problems of having religion and the problems of not having religion and all kinds of BS that made him sound like a pretentious prick. He once lectured me on memory and how tricky it can be. See, there are these things called 'false memories' and 'supressed memories' and 'cognitive dissonance' and 'Dunning-Kruger' and all this crap. Talked like he was the first person to ever hear of this shit before. As if I'm some dumb chick who needs the complex world explained in simple terms for her.
You understand why we only went on a few dates...
Anyway, he did enlighten me in one way. He told me about this thought experiment some professor or other came up with. It goes like this:
Most people will agree that nobody is perfect, right? Even the creamiest of the human crop is flawed in some way or another. Thomas Jefferson owned slaves, Einstein thought black holes were impossible, and the rasta-god preaching the most about love, Bob Marley, regularly cheated on his wife.
With me? We're all ignorant, hypocritical dick-holes in one way or another. Everybody, no matter how intelligent, no matter how careful, is wrong about something. Everybody. Which includes YOU and ME. So the thought experiment is "What are YOU wrong about?"
Go ahead and roll that one around your mind. I'll wait.
No idea, right? If you knew what you were wrong about, you'd correct yourself and you'd no longer be wrong. And that's the damned hitch, isn't it? We can't know ourselves that well. We just can't. Exterior input is required. So chances are pretty good that I'm going to say something that isn't true and you're either going to catch me doing it, or you're going to assimilate that bad information and then you too will be just as wrong as me.
Good. Now that we're on the same page - that we're all lying whorebags - you'll forgive me if I tell my story as I know it to be true. Maybe you have a different truth, but guess what? I don't give a flying shitcicle. Write your own fucking blog.
(Some real truth is that I feel crazy talking as if someone is actually listening, like I have a bunch of fans waiting to read my every word, but I think I'd feel even crazier if I didn't pretend this was intended for an audience. There's something infinitely sorrowful about people talking to themselves.)
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